Book Review: "THE BINARY BIBLE"
                  Copyright 1988 David W. Batterson
                                     -
The Binary Bible of Saint $ilicon by Jeffrey Armstrong; Any Key Press, 1803
Mission St., #174, Santa Cruz, CA  95060; paperback, 208 pp., $14.95 (deluxe
hardbound copy, $49.95)

    For those who think there isn't enough humor in the computer industry,
Saint $ilicon (a.k.a. former hardware/LAN marketing and PR whiz Jeffrey
Armstrong) has written--or compiled, processed, or downloaded?--a sagacious
satire on the silicon scene:  The Binary Bible.
    Comprised of outrageous puns ("I think, therefore IBM"), jibes at religion
("Our Lady of Perpetual Upgrades") and zany poems ("The Robot of Omar K. RAM"),
Armstrong reports that it was a "Divine Transmission from the Giver Of Data
(G.O.D.), the Graphic Omniscient Device, of whom we are all uncooperative
peripherals."
    The double entendres run fast and wicked as he advances his user-friendly
religion: the Church of Heuristic Information Processing (C.H.I.P.), whose
DOSciples must read works like "Mary had a little LAN" and "Var Wars" as they
memorize "The Ten Commands."  C.H.I.P isn't sacrilege, it's "hackrilege."
    A new spelling checker found herein is "Godspell," which "corrects your
thoughts before you type them."  C.H.I.P. has no prophets, but is interested
instead in proselytizing profits.  An early teacher of Saint $ilicon was RAM
DOS, who spoke phrases like "Beep here now."  DOSciples "pray at the Altair of
G.O.D."  An affiliated university is BYTE U.
    There is even an ASCIIstrology section.  Those born February 19 to March 20
are "PCs."  PCs "are submissive to others, but still have independent
processing ability."  The whole aim of Armstrong's spoof is to get computer
users to lighten up, and lose their computerphobia.
     The author is no slouch in the serious business of computer sales, having
worked in marketing/PR for Apple Computer, Corvus Systems, Inc., and Nestar
Systems.
     Clever illustrations and excellent design augment the fun.  Naturally, the
book was totally desktop published on a Macintosh Plus, graphics were scanned,
and copy was digitally typeset on the "Liontronic" (sic) 100.
    The book has the "Good Mousekeeping Seal of Approval," so don't worry about
being "LED astray" or getting "ANSI in your pants."  If you like Monty Python,
David Letterman, George Carlin, and Dada, you'll enjoy this book.  I found The
Binary Bible to have a ROM (Reliable Outrageous Measurement) of 48K
"GiggleBYTEs."